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Friday
Aug032012

When Camels Attack

 

It started like any trip to the fair.  There were angry cows, tired from prodding and haircuts.  And the blind llama wandering around with the sheep.  And the always questionably safe kiddie-rides that Augy just had to go on with his friends. 

Of course there was the Animal Safari Show, touted as bringing nature up-close and educating children and adults alike. 

Right.  I’m now educated, but I’ll thank Google for this one.  Once you have to Google, “what to do when a camel bites you”, you feel rather educated.  And just what do you do when a camel bites?  You throw the remainder of your feed cup at unsuspecting goats, tell a carnie, and stare in disbelief when they say, “Yeah, it happens.”

Then you go tell your husband and stare at him in disbelief as he laughs and tweets out some       #-of-an-update. 

Then you go to the Safari Show and hold your four year old on your lap and let a monkey accost you.

And you pray real hard that the porcupine and clawing baby kangaroo being passed around don’t attack when they come your way.

Augy had fun and the whole way home he had me continually promise to call workers tomorrow so they can start building a zoo and he can do a zoo show.  Yup, I’ll call them right after I call the Olympic builders.  Figures our kid would want to join a carnival show. 

We went back over the series of events on the trip home also, not quite sure why the camel picked my arm to chomp down on.  You can see the teeth marks (they have very big, rather squarish teeth in case you’re wondering) and from my shoulder to my elbow there’s a hump, I mean a lump, only one though.  It aches and is hot to the touch and I guess we could have a lawsuit, right?  But I really don’t think going through the details of that evening again and again will help.  PTCS (Post Traumatic Camel Stress) is real and I think I’m married to the only pastor in Charlottesville who has ever counseled someone on Camel Induced Anxiety (CIA).

As we drove on, Augy also asked over and over to hear about the camel encounter.  And he smiled at my pain.  Then he announced, “Next time, I’m taking the bus.”  Four year olds have an uncanny ability to state the obvious.  Riding a bus to the fair would make it all better.

That’s about all I know concerning random camel attacks- they hurt; they are indiscriminate; they make your arm fat; and one should always take the bus.

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